| | So, this is how it ends; a simple note written by a simple girl tied to a simple ring that was given in a not so simple romance. You, my dear Sweet, were the best first love I could ever wish and hope for. Fate continually keeps intermingling and separating our lives, and to what degree? Maybe we are made for each other, maybe that is only the dream that my weary heart holds onto. Maybe you are only a small tributary to my wide river of life, or maybe you are the fork in the road that I craftily avoid. Who is to know for certain. You gave me a home when all other turned their backs, yet, in turn, you did the same in the end. I guess all this is a piece of everything or nothing; a letter locking strings of words with punctuation at the end. To say a full good bye is too permanent, too final when I know in my heart of hearts that we will meet again. We are both too much like the chaos theory for it not to be true. I pine for the nights in which I laid in your arms and we talked of a past/present/future where we were inseparable. Those past nights are long dead, like the curling ashes of a gray fire. Sometimes, I can still smell you on my skin or in the air and a forsaken urge to break down and cry for us overwhelms me; I have the strength to stay strong though. The only prayer my heart will allow me to keep locked away is that you have a life with whomever you want whether that is me or Her. I pray you are always happy. I know I made a choice to kill something that could have kept us in love forever, but, I don't regret what I did. It would have been a false love and I couldn't live with that. I have lived with regret my entire life, and through this past year I have learned to drop it all and lead a much more carefree life. I will always love you no matter what happens. I'm just not sure if I can ever Love You again. You see, my Dearest, you have helped cause some of the physical, mental and emotional scars that decorate my very being. To forgive and forget is asking too much of me; however, to forgive is something I can do with grace. Sadly, or maybe not so sadly, I must close out this chapter that is so pronounced in my Book of Life. Maybe you will be written into it again, maybe not. Who knows. I will never forget, but for now I need to walk away, move on, morph into a newer me. Good Bye my Dear, my sweet, my Once Upon a Time. Good Bye.
Love,
Haley, The star you once made lonely wishes on.
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| | Posted 6/14/2008 5:52 PM - 10 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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